I remember the day I realized it just didn’t add up.
I had three little ones under six — a five-year-old, a two-year-old, and a newborn. Like so many parents, I wanted to, and needed to, contribute financially and keep my career moving. I had a college degree, a strong work ethic, and every intention of “doing it all.”
Then I started doing the math.
Child care for three kids — even at average Tennessee rates — for me to put my kiddos in quality early care and education programs came to well over $30,000 a year.
According to Tennesseans for Quality Early Education (TQEE), the average annual cost of center-based care in Tennessee is about $11,000 for an infant and $10,000 for a toddler. That means families like mine could be looking at more than $30,000 a year — or nearly the cost of a second mortgage.
I remember sitting at my kitchen table, phone calculator in hand, realizing that working full-time would actually cost me money. Even with my degree and experience, the salary I could earn wouldn’t cover child care for all three in a way that made it worthwhile. The equation made no sense: Work more, less time with my kids, and virtually no money to show for it.
So, like many Tennessee moms, I pivoted. I found flexible, work-from-home projects that let me keep my kids with me — even if that meant taking Zoom meetings during nap times, shushing a screaming toddler in the middle of a work call, and working in Excel sheets with one hand, a baby on my chest and a toddler building block towers beside me.
The Hidden Cost of “Making It Work”
Families shouldn’t have to choose between earning a paycheck and keeping their children safe and cared for. But across Tennessee, that’s exactly what’s happening. It’s the choice I had to make and it’s the choice that many of my Mama friends are facing daily.
Tennesseans for Quality Early Education (TQEE) reports that more than 80% of working parents experience disruptions in employment because of child care challenges — missing work, cutting hours, or leaving jobs entirely. For some, that means giving up promotions or benefits. For others, it means leaving a field they love.
And when care is too expensive, with too few options (if any), many parents end up compromising — not out of choice, but out of desperation. There were more than enough intriguing Indeed Jobs that I had my eye on in my area, but the “I’m sorry we have a wait list” responses from center after center made my options slim. I can recall the frustrations of being qualified, capable, and meeting all the job requirements, but not being able to apply because I didn’t have childcare. I found myself wondering if a friends or family members could have time in their schedules to come to my rescue, but also understood that realistically… they have lives too. Many Tennessee families, unfortunately, are having to rely on whoever’s available, whether that’s a neighbor, a teenager down the street, or a distant relative who can “help out.” Sometimes it works. Too often, it’s just what’s left.
Let’s be honest — babysitting and quality early education are not the same thing.
High-quality care means safe environments, nurturing relationships, and teachers who understand child development. It means structured play that builds language, social skills, and problem-solving. Babysitting, on the other hand, may simply mean supervision.
When the system forces parents to settle for less, children — and our whole economy — pay the price.
Why It Matters to All of Us
I can remember hearing back from one of my top choice job opportunities. After interviewing and moving to the final round, I realized that I couldn’t accept the position. There was nowhere for my children to go. When my husband asked, “What are you going to do?” I broke down in tears because there was nothing I could do. I would have to turn it down. I missed out on that opportunity, but that company also missed out on me.
This isn’t just a “mom problem.” It’s a Tennessee problem.
When parents can’t work, businesses lose employees.
Tennesseans for Quality Early Education (TQEE) puts it plainly:
“High-quality child care, which enables adults to work while laying a foundation for children’s success in school and beyond, is a powerful strategy for growing Tennessee’s workforce of today and tomorrow.”
My dream job
I won’t leave you hanging or wondering where I landed. Fast forward and a few years later, I am now beyond blessed that doors opened and I was able to find and accept my dream job. Tennesseans for Quality Early Education posted a remote position that allows me to work from home, have flexibility and understanding with my, now older, kiddos’ schedules, and make a difference. It has allowed me to share my story in many ways, including through Tennessee Parent.
While I was able to find an amazing place that fits my needs and abilities, I know that is not the case for many Tennesseans. Many Moms and Dads are sacrificing, struggling, and missing out on opportunities because of a lack of childcare options.
That’s Why We are Rocking the Hill
When you feel powerless as a parent — when you’ve run every number, called every center, and still can’t find a way to make it work — the idea of “advocacy” might feel far away. But it’s not.
That’s why Tennesseans for Quality Early Education is hosting Rock the Hill, a family-friendly day at the Tennessee State Capitol where parents, children, and early educators bring their stories directly to lawmakers.
It’s a powerful sight: toddlers carrying colorful lunchboxes filled with drawings and notes for legislators, parents sharing how the cost of care has shaped their family’s choices, teachers explaining why they stay (or can’t afford to). Together, these voices, our voices, tell the story numbers alone can’t.
Rock the Hill reminds lawmakers that behind every statistic is a real family — juggling work, wiping noses, and doing their best to give their children a strong start.
This January, I’ll be there —as a mom who’s lived this reality. I’ll be standing with parents and teachers who believe Tennessee can do better for its children and its workforce.
Because if we want a future where every parent has choices and every child has opportunity, we can’t stay silent.
We have to Rock the Hill.
I hope you will join me. Find out more and apply now.
